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our only real savior is fire power

so im updating for no particular reason

im super excited for halloween!  i have my costume figured out, i just need a red dress.  its kinda like this mixture of harley quin from batman and the mafia.  haha.  well those were my inspirations for it.  im excited, pierce is having a halloween party on the 29th that me and emily are for sure going to (she's really into halloween too :)). 

last night jordan called me at ten (really not that late but i was already asleep) and started freaking out at me about coming to zaks.  i was super tired and thought my clock said it was ten in the morning.  it was annoying, he kept screaming "come to zaks right now and i'll quit smoking!"   of course i was super confused cause he woke me up and didnt know what the hell was going on, then ke kept freaking out cause i as breathing into the phone.  but now that im awake im just really annoying with him.  i was supposed to go to zak's tonight but now i am unsure if i will just cause i dont want to have to deal with jordan being a jackass.  

on another note i'm going to be in concert on december 4th.  i still cant decide if im excited of nervous.  right now i think im super excited.  im singing a saprano italian piece that is very pretty.  i hadn't sang in my head voice in such a long time that when we started to go over i completely forgot i could sound like that.  and then im singing don't know why by norah jones, which really relaxes me its pretty cool.  it will be a very exciting event.  

going to pierce is really akward cause pretty much everyone there went to the same high school, its really weird.  but i like hanging out with emily, we tell each other weird stories and sit in the art gallery drinking coffee and being way to loud.  its a pretty good time.  she's been through a lot in her life, but she's such a happy strong person.  

im volunteering at teh VIC today, time to go get ready :) 

i got kicked in the head last time

ok ... really jittery, i needed to drink tea to be warm but now im super hyper
i took my dog for a walk in the rain today and that was unpleasant but i saw two deer which was excting.
i started volunteering again today, when i went into ask to volunteer cheryl my supervisor was so happy to see me
apparently im really good at telling people about gig harbor haha
which is good cause i've only lived here all my life
the gym at my school sucks, they need to recallibrate their machines cause i ran for thirty minutes and it never said i went over a mile
which is bull shit, cause i did the math and there is no way i went under two miles per hour and was that tired. 
jordan and i are doing good, i had a weird ass dream about him last night.
here is the dream in a nutshell, jordan broke up with me to hook up with ashley but completely avoided telling me
i started hyperventalating
ashley was being a super bitch about me still having feelings for jordan
we were monster hunters
i was half demon and lifted a great dane over my head (that was my favorite part.)
ashley and jordan took over my house
the roads were all roller coasters and i forgot to use my demon powers to walk along them.
yep weird freakin dream. 
i like music theory, its really easy
i may join the school choir
i made a new friend
her name is emily
we are going to try to work out together on the weekends.
i stuck behind a garabage truck this morning and i think i illegally passed him
but i dont really care because i probably would have been late to class if i hadnt.
tv is really boring
just like my life

(i love contacts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
(pandorum is an amazing movie go see it!!!)

One is the lonliest number

The world is off but here I still sit
Whats left here? My minds in a fit.
Where to go, what to do
Who to trust and to turn to?
I'm lost inside this deep dark fear
There's no direction in which to steer
I close my eyes and I remember
Those golden years, back in september

But there's no going back now
I dont even want to 
There's to much at stake here
To much that I've fought through 

But what I would give to have it all pause
Just for that moment, just for that cause
So they wouldnt leave me
No it cannot be
But I must move on now
There's no choice, no how
But still in my mind's little cup
I wish that in life, I would never grow up.

life update

i finnaly registered for classes at peirce. im taking a grand total of two at a cost of $536.50.  wonderful yeah?
im taking music theory which is every day from 8:00 to 8:50 and then body conditioning which is thurdays from 12:00 to 12:50 and i have to work out two hours a week.  this is going to be grand!
as it turns out i only need to take two for sure classes to get my degree from pierce, english 101 and math 107 which is math in society.  all the rest of my credits i get to pick.  lucky me. 
also in the ways of college i am going to boston to check out the school of the museum of fine arts on september 16th and coming back the 20th.  my mom and i are really excited for the trip.  we are going to do all these little touristy things :)
i picked my major today in a suprise rush and am going to be focusing on english.  i decided as i was driving home that i would love doing that more than anything else, my minor is going to be music. 
in other news my dog bones is lovely and adorable and finally feeling better from his kennel cough!
and yeah ... thats all

lovely, simply lovely

its been shark week, every time i watch tv its something nauticle, i turn it off if its not, here is what i have learned about sharks:
-they have electromagnetic sensors in their noses that can sense heart beats
-great whites maily eat seals
-great whites can breach (jump out of the water to catch prey)
-tiger sharks eat albotros which are birds
-tiger sharks are considered living trash cans
-dont go swimming at dusk or night because thats when sharks feed most of the time
-sharks bite because they are naturaly curious and they feel with thier teeth because they dont have hands.
-i hate most documentaries about sharks.

if any one there is a petition to stop illegal shark finning at www.discovery.com/sharkweek

in other news jordan and i decided for me to quit birthcontrol.  i dont like feeling nauseaus everyday, and he doesnt like when im so sick i cant eat.  we believe its for the best and theres always plan B!

OH NO!!!!


back from michigan continued ...

ok sunday is where i left off ... i dont think i woke up until noon ... went for a walk with my mom and aunt kathy, then got ready for the day and watched a silly cartoon with allie.  we then went to louis which is a pizza place in michigan, i was really excited cause it was always really good.  got there, my aunt and uncle ordered a bottle of wine so we could write on it, that was pretty cool i drew a stupid picture.  the salad was really good but then the pizza came and i was heavily dissapointed.  they put waaaaaaaaay to much cheese on it and they make their pizza backwards.  like pepperoni then cheese then the sauce on top.  so ... that was just dissapointing to say the least.  then allie and i climbed into the car with my aunt renee and uncle mike and headed out to their house which is on a lake and has cable tv, unlike grandmas where it took us two days to figure out the vcr.  from there we hung out with ryan and met his friend brian who allie claimed "wanted my vag".  this was based off of his reaction to me saying i wanted to work in animation.  me and allie sat next to each other and sent texts back and forth most of the night.  we then returned to said aunt and uncles house and ate some pizza, watched tv then went to bed and some odd time ...
monday morning was nice due to the fact that allie and i woke up and everyone was gone.  we had an entire three story house to ourselves.  we ransaked the kitchen looking for breakfast, first set on cereal but there was no milk, then found bagels and after much searching found expired cream cheese that we ate anyways and the toaster which was technically broken but i used it anyways.  we sat outside and ate our food and drank juice. 
monday was also the day we went out on my grandpa boat on lake st.claire.  the weather was nice and the lake was beautiful, we pulled up to a park and ate lunch then allie and i laid out in the sun.  on the ride back my legs got severely sunburned.  we met back at my grandma carols house (my step-grandma) allie and i went to play by the pond for old times sake and allie got hissed at by some geese.  we then went to the cemetery to visit my grandpa's grave stone and had yet another picnic there, allie and i wondered around and looked at the graves, the ones for babies are particularly depressing.  we then went back to the house where we met a bunch of ryans stoner friends and allie and i sat in the grass saying nothing.  then jordan called and i hid myself in the bedroom and talked to him for a while and went to bed.  at about five allie woke me up accidentally becuase she was talking on the phone. 
the next day allie and lazed about the house until ryan got home from work (ryan is one of my cousins incase i forgot to mention that).  we were then visited by brandon, amber and kim three of his friends.  we all pitched in for alcohol and went out on the boat and drank.  after a nice buzz we went back in, then went into the hot tub.  i went with allie to pee and she puked in the bushes.  we then went and sat on a couch and she puked yet again.  by this time ryan and i brought her inside and she spent the next four hours puking into the toilet with ryan and i running back and forth to check on her, and then going outside to smoke ... alot. i sat down and starting trippin out so ryan made me go to bed.  whilst laying in bed i felt like i was on a boat.
next day allie and i went to the mall with our aunt renee, i bought two new shirts from forever 21 and a pair of underwear from this store called rue 21 along with tis weird nail polish stuff.  we then went to the movies and saw the hangover (which was slightly ironic because i myself had a hangover) the movie was hilarious and then we ventured out and picked up my mom and aunt kathy to go and stay out at the house on the lake.  i slept on the couch and was woken up by my mom doing yoga.
this next day (thursday) was my moms birthday.  whilst being dragged around outside the house by my aunt renee, allie and i made her a cake.  of course the cake basically exploded when i took it out of the pan and we tried to seal it with the death in a can lemon frosting.  but since the cake was still hot the frosting melted, it looked good for all of ten minutes.  however we finished decorating it just in time for my mom and aunts to walk through the door.  we then picked her flowers and i made her a little card.  my uncle made a huge dinner of pork tenderloin and then afterwards allie and i decided we wanted macaroni and cheese which we ate all of. during the course of the day we also played some intense ufc (ultimate fighter) where i pwned allie and went out on the wave runners which are basically motorcycles for water (like if boats where cars for water) 
this brings us to friday ... time to take another break ....
yay im finally back from michigan!!!!
hurrah! ok trip tidbits and stuff ... go!

well first off before we even left i had food poisoning the day before, that sucked and i dont think i am ever eating kfc again (my stomach still churns when i think about it)
the flight there wasnt to bad, my mom  sat next to this lady named chris who was very nice and talked to us the whole way there, i listened to my ipod most of the time cause my mom was getting on my nerves about work.
my grandma picked us up from the air port at eight eastern time, thats five pm western time, and we drove to the house while my grandmas friend who came with her tried to hook me up with her grandson ... haha
we ate some weird stirfry stuff my grandma made, and then she continued to try to force food on me the rest of the night (i was still not feeling to great)
my mom and i discovered late night with connan o'brien, i love that show, samuel l jackson is hilarious.
next day we went grocery shopping and then i met a few of my moms old friends from high school, they were funny and i loved hearing their stories, it made me excited to go back and see my old friends from high school when we are all in our fifties.
we stayed up till one so we could go pick up allie and aunt kathy from the air port.  i sat in the car with grandma while my mom went to help them with thier luggage all the while texting allie and telling her i wasnt there.  there was this weird looking green bug on the windshield and my grandma would freak out every time she saw it.
allie and i stayed up till five in the morning talking and telling stories and obnoxiously calling jordan and gurgling into the phone.  we didnt wake up until one in the after noon and were told we were going to the mall at three ... so we got ready whilst freaking out because my grandma only has one bathroom and zero outlets near a mirror.  we got to the mall went to macy's and origins, i fought with jordan and got pissy, my mom noticed and offered to buy me things.  i didnt get anything.  we also went to american eagle then had to go home because more family as coming over for dinner.
dinner was good i forgot what we had but there were biscuts and salad ... i ate alot of that.  we had to say a prayer which i didnt know and then go around the table and say what we were thankful for.  i was thankful that it wasnt rainy. 
allie and i stayed up till four talking.
the next day we all went out to lunch with some of our mothers (allie's and mine) old high school friends.  allie and i were then dropped off at the mall where we wondered and i bought a dress and a tank top with a peacock on it and then seven pairs of underwear from victoria's secret, jordan and i made up about four in the afternoon.  back at the house we showed oiff our new clothes then ate and watched tv.
allie and i stayed up till only one in the morning.
on this day we went to an art fair which honestly ... was lame as hell and unexciting.  allie and i looked at all the stuff then bought ice cream from a very grumpy woman.  we waiting for allie's mom then went back to grandma's house where we hung out and watched young frankenstein.  funny movie.
allie and i stayed up till two. 
and this brins us to sunday ... i'll pick up here later. :)

oh joy

i got food poisoning from kfc and have spent most of the day going back and forth from my bed to the bathroom
to top it off arnold came this morning
but i cant hold anything down so taking pain killers is not an option
and then of course tomorrow i leave for michigan dso i have a ton of shit to do
god today is just wonderful

the good old days

i miss those good old days
when we used to sit for hours
and olny spend time makeing noises to hear them played back to us
when we would spend countless hours in ours friend basement
doing what ever caught our fancy
when we were just four lonely girls
no boyfriends
and our only commitment was school
we made up our own boyfriends
and talked about them daily
we were nerdy and we loved it
but now they are gone

i'll always remember